Calling all Sinners !

People turn purple with rage, red with shame, and green with envy at least once a day, and more than a handful of times a week. It’s statistically proven. Ok, maybe it’s not, but that doesn’t make it untrue, and I’m sure you could vouch for that. Shades of these emotions certainly make life more interesting, but while no one wants to lead a boring life, maybe living sinfully isn’t the solution. It’s one thing to talk about the evil effects of these …! GASP! vices, and a whole another thing to live with them.

Envy.

Something we’ve all befriended, ever since we saw our neighbor propping his Mac Book against the dashboard of his BMW, or ever since we secretly wished we too,could put away a cheeseburger and fries along with a chocolate latte, and still look like that amazingly fit friend (everyone has one of these friends, everyone).

Envy.

It’s never pretty, and sometimes, it gets downright ugly. Although it might be a bit of an ego boost when you know someone secretly envies you, it’s not so much fun when above mentioned person decides to indulge in a little behind- the- back slander or _______(insert backstabbing activity of choice here). After all, ‘Greatness inspires envy, envy engenders spite, and spite spawns lies.’

Unless your skin is as thick as dragon hide and you are unaffected by the petty crimes the world and its denizens commit around you, you might want to square your shoulders and learn to deal with it.

Look for the good in everything, and also teach others how to do it. More often than not, green eyed monsters are usually big warm marshmallows inside, but with a baggage of low self esteem attached. Counting our blessings and remembering that each of us is unique is an amazingly simple gift we forget to give ourselves. We tend to get so involved in marking our win against the others on that giant imaginary scoreboard, that we forget that we aren’t even in a race.

This season, we stop the sins.

This season, we turn our wasted minutes into useful ones as we finally join that salsa class, or get that A on our report card because we’ve kept ourselves busy and wonderfully so.

This season, we lock up our envy, and give that friend of ours a high five while falling into step beside her during her morning jog. Maybe we even pass Mr. Hotshot neighbour and his car, enroute, and flash him a smile. And just maybe, that classmate who always picked on us for being a Harry Potter nerd will ask us if we’d like to go watch Deathly Hallows: Part 1 with them next week. After all, what goes around comes around.

This season, we shed the green.

A Fresh Start

I''m burned out.I'm not tired,but I'm not exactly brimming with joie de vivre either.

I feel stale,like a baked good that has been sitting out of the fridge for too long (pardon the analogy).

I have nothing distinctly new to share with the world,and that makes me feel a little insignificant,a teeny bit invisible,and rather impatient.

I'm waiting for something big to happen...but what?That's what the goddamn problem is...I don't know,do I?

Maybe I'll wake up well rested tomorrow morning, smiling and motivated,like I'm in a musical or something.

Or maybe I'll just countdown to HP 7.Yeah,I like the sound of that.

Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus,but not if the Dormien-ing period is too long.Nuh-uh.

I'm ready to wake up,pal.

Teach me how to Be.

Taureans don't like change.

It's true.Even the corny zodiac coffee mugs say so.

And yet I have battled my inhibitions to change....for you.

And now that you do not want me anymore,I do not know to change back.

I have lived to dream ,now I dream, I wish,I yearn to live.

It is funny how you think you're having the worst day ever,and suddenly,what you've been waiting for happens.

It's not so amusing though,when you have prepared for, rehearsed,anticipated,and waited for today,only to find out that today wasn't what you thought it would be at all.Sometimes it bums you out.Sometimes you brush it off and prepare,you dreamer you,for tomorrow.

What if you don't know what to think anymore?

Or what to say,or do,for that matter.

For better for worse.I see a pattern there.It feels like every single time I try to become your idea of a better person,I end up alienating you a little more.I'm driving you away,one improvement at a time.

I have tried and tried,and tried,but those smiles you bestow are harder to earn than a pleasant afternoon in May.Or a warm December night.

It's easy to be evil.

I do Ridiculously Happy once in a while too.

Tears drop thick and fast,occasionally,without waiting to be bid upon to do so.

I can manage to be humorous and funny every now and then.

You obviously can't stand any of this though,can you?

How then,ought I to be?

So I ask what is rightfully mine..a lesson from you.

Teach me how to Be.

Teach me just how to Be to be so I can attempt,yet again,to be one of the people you accommodate so easily in your life.

Teach me how to Be,so I can reassure myself that I'm not working in vain here,and that acceptance will come,someday or the other.

Teach me to Be,for I don't remember how to anymore.

You are my undoing;surely you owe me this much?

Time to rhyme ? a.k.a thought for the day # 3

Melancholy brings with it,the poet.
Atleast in my case.
Wonder why that is?

We watch.We wait.

When is the end?
Everyone faces trials.Trials test people,and reward them with pure unadulaterated joy at the end.The survivor is crowned and all is forgotten as he catches up with long sought peace.
The question is : How long do these trials last?

All of us pay.Pay for our foolishness.Pay for our sins.Pay for our "free" lunches.Pay in exchange for any small glory.No more.I'm broke.I can't pay anymore.

I want to know where my redemption is ,and when it will come find me.

I want to know when the present will become the past and rest ,closed, as an unceremonious chapter in history,forgotten in the wake of a great new beginning.I wait for the day my trial ends,and the jury acknowledges my survival and makes suitable compensation.I don't want to consider the possibility that this day will never come,for hope ..I must.

Hope is all that I have.How pitiful it is that I hope,even as the night fades into a cold dreary morning.Cold mornings are pretty only in Jane Austen's novels and in books about hiking expeditions to Antarctica.Sunshine is what I want for my life.

I want to go ashore,or sink in the deluge.Staying afloat amidst the currents can be very tiring.
Watching and waiting as of now,is passe,and how we all hate anything passe.

Pretence.Not a fan.

All of us,at one time or another,have faced double standards.And doled them out too.While people may have reason to mask their real feelings from time to time,constant pretence is just...annoying,

Sometimes,I wish people would tell me what exactly they think of me.However,they never do that,so I have to play mind reader and lemme tell you;it's really hard to filter out true emotion from all the socializing crap;
but a part of me wonders if I'll be able to handle the truth.Dependent creature that I am,I don't really know if I'll be able to digest the idea that a friend or a loved one prefers not having me around.

Sure,no one can hope for universal popularity,to borrow a phrase from Dumbledore.All one can hope for is a little honesty,some patience,and a tinge of reality in the farce that are some relationships today.

Ah hope!

P. S : I almost forgot...HAPPY NEW YEAR folks!Keep your spirit soaring and make 2010 your best year yet :)

Incomplete is a bad thing.

So I was idling my time away online as usual.I logged into Blogger as per routine,and accidentally navigated to the drafts section of the posts.Intriguing titles and dangling phrases led me to take a closer look,and I unwittingly stole a few glances at the past me.

I found a couple of unfinished poems.They weren't anything the world would miss(or even things I would miss for that matter,...naah!I'd be lying if I said that.I am narcissistic enough to miss my own verse,anyway,that's quite besides the point,isn't it?).I really couldn't tell what I was trying to say through the poems though.Somewhere,I think I was on the verge of getting hold of the soul of the poem.With sweet irony though,that beginning brought with it the end.Poof.Draft over.

I also observed a gradual change in my writing style.My older posts were more formal sounding,with attention to grammar,attempts to pay attention to punctuation,with proper and non silly sounding words.With time,I have begun to shy away from attempting poetry,and have stuck to writing post after post about my mundane life sparing the occasional bursts into melancholy,because I'm ashamed to rhyme,afraid to break out,and too busy to spare a few minutes for pondering.

I wonder if micro blogging sites like Twitter, and Facebook updates,have anything to do with my.....impatience.No other word for it.I try to return to my old self,at least when it comes to thought patterns,but it's impossible.That was me then.This is me now.I can't really seek out a past identity of mine and hide beneath it when I'm definitely not the same person underneath anymore.It would be like effectively making null and void whatever's happened to me in the last few months,like erasing a sizeable chunk of my experiences in life.And that's not what I intend to do.

The second best thing I can think of then,is to have a record of what I was like earlier,so that I can look back at some old memories and paint a picture of things as they used to be.Then,in bitter times,I can live on a bit of borrowed sentiment from the past.And that's where old post come in.To me,they are the key to unlocking my younger self.

That's why the sight of unfinished drafts frustrate me.The leave me wondering about what exactly I was thinking then.Sometimes,I remember the circumstances in which I penned a draft,but I do not remember my reactions to that situation.How unfair is that?!

That's why I 'm going to take this moment to remind you all to finish your thoughts.At least whilst you're on Blogger.You might not feel like writing just then,but endeavor to make your thoughts a little more lucid,so you can always come back to it later.Don't deceive yourself :your mind isn't an impenetrable bank,time gets through to everything.You eventually will forget.You might lose a moment of your life in the sense that you will not be able to remember what that moment revolved around.

Sorry if I sound half crazed,but I just want to impress upon you that your identity is the most important thing you can ever own,and so, a ManU vs. Arsenal showdown definitely does not justify leaving your thoughts unfinished.

I'll talk more when I'm not being strange rambling girl (which is what many of you must have begun to call me in your head,I'm sure).

'K bye!

Q&A

Q.How foolish it is to want something very badly and then push it away,not knowing whether it would ever be in your reach again?
A.Very foolish.
Thunk.Thunk.That's me whacking meself on the head (like that's going to help) . :

Rise up!

Rise up!
No,I'm not talking about the latest song that's got everyone in such a tizzy!
I wanna take a moment here to remind everyone to rise up.Simply rise up,beyond all the difficulties,beyond all the barriers,physical,emotional,or any other sort.Face the challenges,brush away the insults,and turn a blind eye and a deaf ear to all the negativity around.

Remember to rise up and I promise your day will end with a smile :)
There,that's better!


Cheers !

No,I'm not a Legilimens!

All of us,at one time or another,have faced double standards.And doled them out too. And while people may have reason to mask their real feelings from time to time,constant pretense is just …annoying.

Sometimes I wish people would tell me what exactly they think of me.But since they never do that,I have to play mind reader and lemme tell you ;it’s really hard to filter out true emotion from all the socializing crap.But a part of me wonders if I’ll be able to handle the truth. Dependent creature that I am,I dont really know if I’ll be able to digest the idea that a friend or a loved one prefers not having me around.


Sure,no one can hope for universal popularity,to borrow a phrase from Dumbledore.All one can hope for is a little honesty,some patience and a tinge of reality in the farce that are some relationships today.

Ah hope!

Last time I was here...

You know what?
When I'm in a place I visit frequently(when I say frequently I mean more frequently than I would visit the toilet,and less frequently than I would visit the gym),I think about the last time that I was there.
Right now,I'm sitting at the same cafe that I was ,nearly a year ago.Though I don't live in the same city anymore,I'm actually visiting some friends there now.
With no homes to invade on a scorching Thursday afternoon,I'm whiling time away at this coffee cum broadband cafe,and thinking about the last time I was here.
Judging by what I posted then,I was high on coffee,jobless and happy.
And I suppose now I am pensive,nostalgic,and ...yes,jobless.
Anyway,take a look at what I had to say.

Where's my hammock?

"Sometimes in the winds of change,we find our true direction."

When you're in your comfort zone,you never ask if this is what you wanted for yourself.Face it,epiphany and enigma aren't exactly our best friends when we're well settled in an idyllic,lazy,cozy spot in our lives.
But what happens when you're pushed out of the hammock?
You'll fall down..Maybe you'll bruise yourself.You might even earn yourself a few deep scars in the process.You'll want to lay in the mud for a while,because you're scared if you'll be able to walk again.
But,eventually you will dust the dirt off your hands.You'll shrug,and walk away with a little of hurt pride,a grain of defiance.Slowly,you'll walk across other lawns,and see other people there...living their lives.And before you realize it,you'll be glad you decided to walk again...glad that the one tear you shed didn't prevent a thousand smiles from coming your way.And just when you've made peace with life,you'll find an empty hammock,of the right height,in the right spot,with the right amount of sunlight and breeze around,just right...right for you right then,anyway.
So..what if you fall out again?
Go back to line 1 and read...:)