Tuesday, 24 August 2010

My personal Goddess...

is my mother.

Come this Thursday,she will be celebrating her 53rd birthday!

I intended to write her a lovely blog post on her birthday,combining my love to celebrate other people's birthdays and the need to do something light and fun on my blog for once (ask Say and Rach ,they'll vouch for the Saawariya-esqueness of this blog,and that's not the best thing to be, really).However,in a world where nasty internal exams and annoying tests ..and procrastination abound,one can never do anything too soon,and so I find myself celebrating Mom's birthday earlier than I'd planned with all you lovely people in Blogsville. :)

This one's for my one talisman,my personal favorite Goddess,my Amma.You are awesome because

1)You accept me the way I am-moody,silly,angsty,extra cheerful,or at my emo best.*Terms and Conditions never apply.

2)You support my identity,you help carry the weight of it..and when I wear an extremely gaudy and ridiculous gift wrapping ribbon on my hair and pose for the cameras,you take a picture and look at it adoringly. :|

3)You provide for me-and not just in the Earth mother kind of way yknow. Not to belittle The World's Best Dosa you make,or your perfectly seasoned Morekali served with double pyaar (that's a family adjective,btw :D ) , but the way you meet my every little need,and most of my little wants, simply overwhelming.I applaud you,because God knows shopping for indecisive teenage girls needs talent.

4)You share with me.We can exchange gossip updates,discuss favorite bits of poetry and how not to forget to watch award shows on TV, indulge in some lighthearted bitching (what?It's good for the soul :D ),and what not.You are my BFF and hangout buddy. I love that I can watch the Sound of Music,Mary Poppins,the Devil Wears Prada,Kal Ho Naa Ho,DDLJ,and Alaipayuthey with you a gazillion times,and yet you do not sigh when I recite the dialogues along with the hero/heroine at breakneck speed. I love that you lend a ear to my ahem..musical renditions..err :D ,attempt to make sense of my muddled creations,and dance with me to Marriage of Figaro when I play it on whimsical evenings,and do outrageous things that we can snort about later.

5)You guide me.Through times of darkness,and into the light.I don't know what I'd do without you,you great ol' cuddly angel. You give some scary ass lectures,but you make up for them with the best Good Morning hugs ever.

6)You inspire me.Your thoughts,opinions,decisions,gestures,your kind little ways,your anecdotes,your sarcasm, your belief in the power of sincere hope and prayer,even your childish rejection of Tom Felton (though I do love him so..dear me..:P ),everything you do...
teaches me a little something about the world.

7)You love me like no one ever could.I can always be The Princess with you,and that one tiara I'll always want to wear,like a tattoo etched into my skin.When Monica tells her two baby boys that she'll "love you so much no woman will ever be good enough for you",she surely took a leaf out of your book! :)

Here's to one dear little woman nestled in a corner of India,a woman with amazing strength and unconscious grace,and a will to change the world and learn to make the perfect Garlic Bread.

  • SRK
  • Deewana Hua Baadal
  • Roshagullas from Muh Mishti
  • birthday cakes shaped like cricket pitches and the Powerpuff girls
  • Cab rides to everywhere
  • The Big Fat Pancake and other stories
  • Impromptu photoshoots
  • Dedications written while gifting books
  • "Cornflakes Milk" @ 11 p.m

and a world of other things will always remain special to me,and you know why, Amma.

Thank you.Have a wonderful birthday,and a great life ahead.More power to you,and lots of sunshine as well.
Cheers and hugs from the daughter.

Tuesday, 10 August 2010

Teach me how to Be.

Taureans don't like change.

It's true.Even the corny zodiac coffee mugs say so.

And yet I have battled my inhibitions to change....for you.
And now that you do not want me anymore,I do not know to change back.

I have lived to dream ,now I dream, I wish,I yearn to live.

It is funny how you think you're having the worst day ever,and suddenly,what you've been waiting for happens.

It's not so amusing though,when you have prepared for, rehearsed,anticipated,and waited for today,only to find out that today wasn't what you thought it would be at all.Sometimes it bums you out.Sometimes you brush it off and prepare,you dreamer you,for tomorrow.

What if you don't know what to think anymore?
Or what to say,or do,for that matter.

For better for worse.I see a pattern there.It feels like every single time I try to become your idea of a better person,I end up alienating you a little more.I'm driving you away,one improvement at a time.

I have tried and tried,and tried,but those smiles you bestow are harder to earn than a pleasant afternoon in May.Or a warm December night.

It's easy to be evil.
I do Ridiculously Happy once in a while too.
Tears drop thick and fast,occasionally,without waiting to be bid upon to do so.
I can manage to be humorous and funny every now and then.

You obviously can't stand any of this though,can you?
How then,ought I to be?

So I ask what is rightfully mine..a lesson from you.
Teach me how to Be.

Teach me just how to Be to be so I can attempt,yet again,to be one of the people you accommodate so easily in your life.

Teach me how to Be,so I can reassure myself that I'm not working in vain here,and that acceptance will come,someday or the other.

Teach me to Be,for I don't remember how to anymore.
You are my undoing;surely you owe me this much?