Teach me how to Be.

Taureans don't like change.

It's true.Even the corny zodiac coffee mugs say so.

And yet I have battled my inhibitions to change....for you.

And now that you do not want me anymore,I do not know to change back.

I have lived to dream ,now I dream, I wish,I yearn to live.

It is funny how you think you're having the worst day ever,and suddenly,what you've been waiting for happens.

It's not so amusing though,when you have prepared for, rehearsed,anticipated,and waited for today,only to find out that today wasn't what you thought it would be at all.Sometimes it bums you out.Sometimes you brush it off and prepare,you dreamer you,for tomorrow.

What if you don't know what to think anymore?

Or what to say,or do,for that matter.

For better for worse.I see a pattern there.It feels like every single time I try to become your idea of a better person,I end up alienating you a little more.I'm driving you away,one improvement at a time.

I have tried and tried,and tried,but those smiles you bestow are harder to earn than a pleasant afternoon in May.Or a warm December night.

It's easy to be evil.

I do Ridiculously Happy once in a while too.

Tears drop thick and fast,occasionally,without waiting to be bid upon to do so.

I can manage to be humorous and funny every now and then.

You obviously can't stand any of this though,can you?

How then,ought I to be?

So I ask what is rightfully mine..a lesson from you.

Teach me how to Be.

Teach me just how to Be to be so I can attempt,yet again,to be one of the people you accommodate so easily in your life.

Teach me how to Be,so I can reassure myself that I'm not working in vain here,and that acceptance will come,someday or the other.

Teach me to Be,for I don't remember how to anymore.

You are my undoing;surely you owe me this much?